My heart

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She is my heart. She was always the ‘easy’ child. She was always afraid of disappointing me, as if she ever could. These are her senior pictures. I was going to pick one to put in my little soliloquy today, but she is so fetching, how do I pick just one?

She was the little girl I waited on. Kennedy is Sis. Our Sis. She had to learn early to hold her own. Her brothers were wild and mean and she would have been trod over early. Not her. She grabbed on to the rope and hung on. She will never back down. That is one of her greatest strengths.  She is loyal to those who love her and wary of those who have hurt her. She doesn’t like second chances. When you show her who you are, she believes you.

I have always known she would do something big. She does everything big, I guess. Her dreams are mountainous. She never sees the ceiling, only the clouds and stars. She wants to travel and learn and see and write. Her words make you curious and she can show you so many things. When she goes on her adventures, she will take me with her. I will never get to see the things she sees, except through her eyes. She will show me, make me feel and taste and smell all the tales that she tells. She will be my hot air balloon, my sailboat on the high seas. She will bring me exotic fruits and breads and stories of graceful women and ravishing men. She will take me on all the lives that I didn’t get to live.

Isn’t she magnificent? Although I can’t take full credit for her, God made this sweet gal, I am overly impressed by this woman child I was blessed to raise. I think I did a good job. I tried so hard. I wanted her to always be more than me. I want her to be all.

She worries about me  and takes too much on herself. She excels in school and her teachers and professors always want to know her more intimately. Her person begs to be known. You want to know what is behind those eyes. You can see something is forming every minute. She is startling and staggering. She is guarded. She has been hurt and she doesn’t trust, yet she wants to. She yearns for the closest of relationships.If she gives that part of herself to you, for God’s sake hold on to it. If you ever let it go, it will be a treasure hunt you will never win,  you will never find it again. The death of her friendship is something you can’t recover from.

These pictures, these are her senior pictures. I came upon them today in my Facebook timehop. It’s a funny thing, that timehop. Sometimes it makes you laugh, sometimes mourn, sometimes celebrate. This is a celebration of my Kennedy. She has accomplished enormous things since I took these pictures. She is running a race, grasping at the beginning of her new life. The life where she gets to jet to places most places people only dream of. She wants to fly. I helped do that. I helped her want to fly. I’m proud of both of us. When she soars, she will have me tucked under her wing. I can’t wait.

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