I saw a meme one day that I thought was sad. Sad because obviously this was a huge enough issue that someone made a meme for it. It said ‘God will never send you someone else’s husband’.
Why? Why do women chase after a married man? Now look, I’m not blaming a cheating fool on any woman. It takes two to tango, as they say. However, I am at a loss as to why women would ever put themselves in this position.
As a woman, I am fully aware of how hard we have had to fight in all areas of our lives. Women died for our right to vote. We have fought to conquer chauvinism in the workplace. We have had to fight to fight in our Armies, speak in our churches and represent our country in all forms of government. We, as women, still fight the condescending attitudes of men who think because we have a vagina, we aren’t able to lead a nation. We have fought for hundreds, thousands of years to have our voices heard. So why the hell are we tearing each other down, making other women feel less than, sleeping with other women’s husbands? Why do we judge other women, holding each other to standards that are worse than any man ever did? Why do we mock and gossip and toy with women who should be our friends? What is wrong with us??
I am just amazed of the dissention women have created for themselves. My ancestors fought valiantly for Women’s Rights. For what? So we can tear each other down? Apart? . We complain about sexual harassment in the workplace, then we send suggestive messages to married men we work with. Since when is it ok to chase a married man? There is no good reason for that. It doesn’t matter if his wife is fat or a bitch or ‘doesn’t understand him’. You’re chasing a man who took a vow before God to love and honor his wife. Why is it ok to offer yourself to him? Why would you disrespect another woman like that? Why would you disrespect yourself like that? We are our own worse enemies. I don’t understand it. I never will.
I was married to a man for twenty-six years who cheated on me for the entirety of our marriage. Friends, co-workers, employees, my children’s friend’s mothers. There were no boundaries with these women. I’ve had women in my home, they have eaten at my table, listened to me when I was so heartbroken, I didn’t know if I’d live through it…and leave my house and sleep with my husband. What were they thinking? Second best is pretty ok? Did you think he’d leave me? He didn’t. But one day, I decided that wasn’t my story anymore. That wasn’t God’s plan for me. Am I to be thankful? Because of you, I woke up? As I said before, the blame isn’t one-sided. My husband is who vowed to be faithful to me. You, however, decided that I didn’t matter. You told every man who ever said anything derogatory about women that he was right. For some reason, you thought you were the exception to the rule.
It’s a fallacy that men have been our only oppressors. We regress every time we text another woman’s husband a sexual message, whisper about things only a wife should share. Every time you put yourself in the position that either of you have to lie about, if you would be ashamed for your friend to see something you said to her husband, you have pushed us back a hundred years. Why aren’t we showing men, children, other women what it is like to be a God fearing woman. Why are we sitting in huddles giggling about sleeping with a co-worker. Why aren’t we respecting all women? Why aren’t we showing the world what being a WOMAN really means.
If we need a silly Facebook meme to make a point about infidelity, where have we gone so wrong? What is this teaching my daughter? Your son? Is this the legacy we want for our children? I strive to teach my girls about respect for other women. They get into trouble if they are gossiping about another girl in front of me. They hear it if they are making harsh criticism about other girls. I am not blameless in all of this. In fact, I said something ugly a few days ago. Kennedy totally busted me for it. I was embarrassed, then proud.
I have my own demons to fight. I am not perfect, I don’t ever claim to be. I am ornery and I curse and I sometimes make fun of those really skinny women who say ‘I need to lose two pounds’. Really? Go poop. I wouldn’t tease and flirt with your husband. I wouldn’t do anything that could be misconstrued as enticement. It is shameful.
I have a lot of really good friends. Friends who have cried with me and told me to pull my head out of my ass occasionally. Friends who love me for who I am and who I am not. I have also lost friends. People who were dear to me. People I thought would have my back no matter what. I hate being wrong. I guess this whole ranting mess comes down to one thing. The crust on the biscuit. I saw that meme and it hit home. Old wounds are still wounds. New wounds that haven’t healed yet. I don’t understand a woman who chases after a married man, or a women who succumbs to being chased. I don’t understand men either, but this particular post isn’t about that. It’s really just so simple. Keep your mouth and legs shut and quit being an embarrassment to all women. Have a little class